Disappointments

I typically update our blog with exciting things happening in our little family. I enjoy posting pictures of birthday parties, zoo trips, visits to grandparents, etc., but there is more to life than weekend getaways and happy days with three little boys. There are also days of disappointment and lack of understanding.

I don't want to come across as "bah humbug" or "Debbie downer" so I have stayed away from such a topic. However, it's part of life. There are days of pure happiness and there are days where we question God's hand in our lives. I am in the latter.

He has GOT to hear me by now! Right?
I am sure he has had enough of my whining in prayer. Right?
There IS a purpose? Right?
He will never leave me nor forsake me? Right?

I know the answers to all these questions...in my head. I KNOW that He is sovereign, all-knowing, ever-present. I KNOW that He can count the hairs on my head and knows the number of my days. I also KNOW that He loves me with an unfathomable love and can and will do more than I could ever ask or imagine. I KNOW these things...in my head.

My heart has been deceived to think that God would choose to turn His ear from me. That He would place me in a valley and leave me there. My heart has been deceived.

So, what do I do? Do I lay in sackcloth and ashes and pout until I feel like God has revealed Himself enough that I snap out of the funk I am in? That sure does sound selfish don't you think?

It's a choice...
I will choose to fix my eyes on Him (Hebrews 12:2).
I will choose to be still  (Psalm 46:10).
I will choose to trust the One that can put a new song in my mouth/heart (Psalm 40:3).

When I do these things my heart will have no choice but to trust in His promises. Disappointments will come but I don't have to stay in the pit. He has promised His presence and that's enough. Again, He has promised His presence and that's enough!!

Honestly, it's been a rough two years for me. As I stated before, I don't want to come across as negative and whiney. It's just where I am. There has been disappointment after disappointment BUT
I have grown through them. God has taught me and even disciplined me. Has it been fun? NOT.AT.ALL!!! My emotional state is not at the top of His to-do list. He is more worried about me becoming more like his Son...growing me in Christlikeness.

He is teaching. I am learning.


His,
Meg
Zeph. 3:17